Unlike most with Autism, I have watched maybe 30 movies in my entire life. I have a large circle of friends, most do not know about my Autism. Some do. And like most with Autism, my body can have a mind of it's own, I do everything "differently" down to the way I count money.
I also have a relationship, a partner, a life mate. This is not something that always came easy for me. I spent 8 years of the last 12 years single, by choice. I felt no reason to jump into any relationship unless it was truly going to work. I simply do not play house. I have enough problems that pop up on a daily basis at times, I never wanted what I seen as "more stress".
But, here we are, a couple years after making the decision to move in together we are still together, despite the frustrations, miscommunications, bad days, good days, and the typical relationship ups and downs. Those ups and downs look a bit differently for us, any NT couple would agree with that. But nonetheless, we work through them.
This decision was hard for me. One of my "obsessions" in life has been theology, which wound me knee deep in the Adventist church. I enjoyed my time there in my teenage years into my twenties, but my life was not entirely characterized by the church, nor was I a member, I just truly enjoyed digging into theology.
I stopped attending in my early twenties based on decisions I was facing in my life, morally.
As I fast forward to last night, to my relationship in this moment, and to a huge circle of swarming debates that I came across online, I felt compelled to write about my situation.
My girlfriend, Emily, and I are far from "loud and proud gay". We do not hide it, we do not flaunt it and we do not expect everyone to accept it. We even understand why it has taken this long for places to begin seeking Gay Marriage Laws.
The Gay community has always had a stigma, due to the secret lives people had to once live, and still do in some places, it caused promiscuous relationships, as no one could really take "claim" to any certain person openly as their significant other. This stigma comes with a slew of implications the Gay community is still rising above. But I see a change, a big one, in the community. The LBGT community is taking claim to relationships, marriage is for once an options and seems to really put a more defined image on gay relationships. As a community, we can finally live the lives everyone else has the freedom to publicly live.
That being said, after reading my Twitter feed and seeing the comments posted about the Grammy's intrigued me to write this. While I tend to be a more conservative person, I do not think the Grammy performance was over the top. I think it sent a positive message.
As an Autistic individual, and a person who works from home, we fight the battle of not being able to share an insurance policy, we have to go through other legal avenues to allow Emily in the room if I am hospitalized. She cannot know anything about my medical records without certain legal affairs being worked out beforehand. We have felt every implication.
My closest friend from my days in the Adventist church is also Gay. He shares a condo with his boyfriend, who serves his community in politics and they are both business owners. They are prestigious members of their community, respected and cared for. However, my friend still receives multiple page latters of hate from his parents, members of the church.
In Chicago, of all places, we were harassed by our Dutch landlord until we moved out. Being locked out of our home, having him intrude just to tell us we are scum and we have also faced the small town issues that arise. We are like any other couple when we spend time with our friends. We do not hang all over each other like two 16 year olds, our friends respect that we are ourselves and we keep our intimate lives in our home, where they belong, even for a straight couple. So I have a hard time seeing what implications our lives must put on others to receive some of the treatment we have, but overall, coming from the person who never watches t.v., I think the Grammy performance ROCKED.
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